It's A Wonderful Life

I am so blessed. I really am. In the hustle and bustle of every day life, it is so easy to forget what an amazing life I have and what an incredible family.  It wasn't long ago that I was staring at the red and blue denim room that I was dying to redo in hopes it would be a nursery, wondering why God had betrayed me leaving my barren and me putting so much stress and pressure on my incredibly loyal husband.  A year and a half ago was so bleak, but this time last year, we were about the find out that we were becoming parents. And yet still there were uncertain months ahead. After our first loss, it was difficult to believe that our "Sweet P" would be coming. Once we were comfortable in our pregnancy and knew we had a healthy baby boy on the way, I began to worry about childcare. How could I possibly leave my precious baby every day. All of these hopes and fears were taken care of one by one.  And as I sit, a stay at home mother with a incredible precious baby boy sleeping next to me, I feel myself start to worry about what is next and will our future hopes come to be fulfilled as these have.  In God's time. That is what I keep telling myself. In God's time.  I had always hoped to be a stay at home mother but never really believed we could make it happen. Then, about five weeks into maternity leave, everything fell into place.  It would not have fallen into place if I had gotten pregnant a year earlier, or two years earlier when we began trying. The timing was perfect. And I need to remind myself that God has perfect timing and I just pray that I am able to walk through any hurt or disappointment I may feel if and when my timing does not match His. But I do have high hopes that our timings might match for some future endeavors. ;)

In the meantime, it is truly a wonderful life. I really LOVE my life. My husband is incredible. He has been so loyal to me, always putting my and my feelings before others. We may disagree and we may take time to work things out....but we always do and we come out strong. He has worked so hard to give me everything I have ever wanted.  He works hard for our son and has given us an amazing gift by working hard enough so that I can stay home and raise our boy.

I have the most amazing baby boy one could imagine. He is smart, beautiful and strong and I am so excited about the man he will become. I hoped and prayed for him for so long and every one of my prayers for him was answered. I remember hoping that I had a baby that smiled a lot. I have never seen a child smile and laugh as much as Elijah. He is a constant reminder that the world is really a good place.

I love my home. Although there are things that I would change and we have discussed a possible move over the next couple of years, I love how our house hand transformed into a home over the past year with paint, carpet and family "touches". It continues to transform and improve and is perfect for our little family.

I can't talk about loving life without mentioning Wrigley and Bonnie. We are so blessed to have these amazing dogs who are so sweet and loving. Some of my favorite naps are those spend cuddling up on the couch with Bonnie and Wrigley.  These dogs will spend days with me in bed when I am sick and never leave my side.

One other thing I am grateful for is that for the first time in my life, I am actually feeling a good body image. It is no longer about fitting into a certain size. It is about being healthy enough to produce milk for my son, and staying healthy for a future pregnancy.  I have been lucky enough to drop the baby weight and then some, but I am at a place where my main goal is optimum health for the sake of my child and future children.  One more burden that has been lifted from my shoulders.

The Parish Family is finishing up our summer by vacationing in Ocean City New Jersey. (Another blessing! So excited about this!). It's our first trip back "home" (for me) since right after our wedding when we first began our journey toward parenthood. It has been an action packed (almost) three years.  We have so much to be grateful for.