Our Long Road to Conception....

Recently, Chip and I were interviewed for a show called Top Docs of Houston with our Reproductive Endocrinologist (aka “Fertility Doctor”), Dr. Daniel Williams.   Although most friends and family have known the story of our conception, and many walked through it with us, I had never actually written about it.  With the airing of our show, I decided to share the rest of the story……

 We began our conception journey in November, 2009.  I think I always knew, deep down, that expanding our family would not be easy but I had no way to prepare for what lay ahead.  I went to see my OB in December to get a check up and make sure that everything was in working order.  I had no way of knowing that it takes more than a simple pelvic exam determine this.  And we had no reason to believe that there would be any problems. My OB gave me a prescription for prenatal vitamins and said to come back in six months if we had no luck, at which time, she would put me on Chlomid to help me “ovulate better”.  As our luck would have it, April rolled around and no baby so I went back…..a month early.  I was put on chlomid for 3 months. What I did not know at the time was that with Chlomid, you are supposed to be monitored for ovarian cysts (which my OB was not doing) and that you are only supposed to be on the drug for a total of 3 months in a lifetime.  I ended up leaving my OB in June for some personal differences and found another OB who ordered some testing.  I had an Hysterosalpingogram (HSG)  performed which showed no blockage.     ( We would later wonder if this procedure had been done correctly due to the blockage would eventually be found).

 Finally it was time to go a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I had feared this but also was ready to forge ahead.  I found Houston Fertility Institute online and saw they had some of the highest success rates in the country. Dr. Williams responded to my inquiry on a Saturday morning.  He was friendly,  professional and I was very impressed with receiving a call on a Saturday. We set up an appointment for September 2010. 

I went through a battery of blood testing and Chip had some testing as well.  Both of us passed with flying colors. Why, then, were we not pregnant. At this point, we had been trying a full year.  We looked at our options and because my earlier HSG showed no tubal blockage, the logical next step was intrauterine insemination.  Dr. Williams felt that with the previous testing we had, IUI was a logical next step. This took place at the beginning of December.  By the end of December we knew it had failed.  Before we moved forward with another IUI procedure, Dr. Williams wanted to dig a little deeper….in my uterus. We knew that I had endometriosis and uterine septum. The endometriosis can make it difficult to GET pregnant and the uterine septum makes it difficult to STAY pregnant. A laparoscopy and hysteroscopy would be the key to correcting both of these problems.  The procedure was set up for the end of January.  Again, I was plagued with fear but also excitement. I felt like this procedures may even correct my infertility to the point where no more treatment is necessary and we could have a natural conception.  When I awoke from the anesthesia, Chip was in the room with me and I knew there was something wrong. The first words out of my mouth were, “Please just tell me whatever it is you don’t want to tell me”.  He then laid out the devastating news that my tubes were, in fact, blocked. The endometriosis was so severe that three incisions were required to get to all of it and my tubes were swollen, blocked and scarred to the point of being deformed.  I felt as if my whole world just fell about around me.  I knew, at that point, that Invitro Fertilization (IVF) would be our only hope and it was so much more expensive than our prior procedures.  I just didn’t see how we could make it happen.  Those were some very dark months for our family.  The first half of 2011 was tough.  There was anger, tears, depression and thoughts and words that I hope I never encounter or cause again.  There is no way to prepare for this. There is no way to find joy when you feel that lost. We made it through that time because my husband was the strength for us both and would not allow me give up on us as a family, even if it meant just us.  To me, the longing of motherhood was so strong and the thought that it might never happen, just too painful.  The kind words of friends helped get us through this. I remember, in particular, a handwritten letter in the mail from our dear friend Rita. The line that sticks out is “There is no doubt in my mind that you will be a mother”. This got me through some dark days as well. 

The medication I was on for the IVF

When spring rolled around, we had done some financial organizing and research through some amazing blessings, were able to schedule our IVF

The first step was to harvest the eggs and create the embryos. This happened in June. I was sedated and don’t really remember much. The procedure itself was not bad. I had been told that the harvesting of the eggs leaves you very sore and in a lot of pain.  Due to my battle with endometriosis and , apparently, high tolerance for pain, my recovery time was minimal and I was back at work the next day. I probably could have gone to work that day had it not been for the sedation.

Five Days later, we went in for our fresh embryo transfer. There were 4 embryos from our procedure. Not as many as we would have liked but more than some people.  Two would be transferred and the other two frozen.

Following our fresh transfer, I was ordered to 3 days of bed rest.  Chip took off from work to take care of me and, as you can see below, I had a parade of visitors come to keep me company and wish us luck!

Two weeks past and it was time for our pregnancy test. I went in the morning for the test and then took a half day at work so I could learn the results at home. My sweet mother in law met me for lunch. I forced myself to eat and then we met Chip at home to wait the results. Around 3pm we got the call. The words on the other end of the line were music to my ears. One of my favorite nurses, Ceci, said “Put me on speaker phone. You’re pregnant!”.  You cannot imagine the joy the erupted in my living room that afternoon. After such a painful journey, the sheer elation and relief was unmatched. I enjoyed that feeling for five days….until we went in for our ultrasound and found out that we had lost our little baby.  Our teeny tiny baby Parish was gone so fast and we mourned. We mourned the loss of this child that was so cherished, so hoped for and already so loved and we only had this child for 5 days. I kept wondering to myself at what point had I stopped being pregnant and not known. I cannot even express how devastating this was so I will not try. And thankfully, the story does not end here............

 Here are some photos of this part of our journey......

About to have our fresh embryo transfer

Dr. Williams pointing to the ultrasound monitor of the embryo's being transferred

                                     We had lots of visitors come to share this part of our journey

My cousin, Susie, came down for Austin and helped me kill time on bed rest

Lacy and Rita come bearing the gifts of magazines and laughter. Just what the  doctor ordered!

Melissa and Brayden hung out with me and we watched movies together

Brien brought me a Locatelli's pizza!

Nan spent an afternoon by my side

My brother, Mark, surprised me with a visit....and more pizza!

Chip took very good care of me

And Heather was there for me as always.