Thou Shalt Not Steal Thy Child's Joy.....

I recently finished reading (and will read again at least once) an AMAZING Christian parenting book called Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel. This book really encompassed so much of what I hope to achieve both as a parent to my children as well as in my own journey of faith, love and devotion to Christ.  The basic concept of the book is to lead your children through example of God's Grace. This does not mean being a pushover and letting them get away with things. It also does not mean being militant and overly strict. It means that you lead by example and you have pure intentions as a foundation for you rules. In other words, it's not all about keeping up appearances.  The book is incredible and I highly recommend it, not only to parents but to anyone who wants a little more direction in their life..

One of the things that resonated with me in this book was where it discussed not taking away your child's joy. So often, children do things, say things, act a certain way, that isn't bad. In fact, it is not bad at all, no malicious intent....it's just, well, annoying. And sometimes the same thing that was fun one minute can be annoying the next. It is so temping to "reprimand" your child, or in my case, my child, when you are simply irritated because you are busy or in a hurry or something they are doing is just rubbing you the wrong way. Kimmel (and I) urge you to resist this.

My two year old, Elijah has such a big heart. He loves BIG! He has enthusiasm for everything he does. He is full of love and joy. And can he be annoying? Of course. But me cutting him short from a silly and harmless game he might be playing or questions he is asking can steal his joy. Sure, there may be instances when he doesn't give it a second thought. But then, you have that moment where you snap and say "Cut it out" or something along those lines and you see those big eyes get even bigger with the biggest hurt feelings you have ever seen. Now think. Were they really doing something wrong? Or did you. I don't know why this resonated with me so much but it is one of the lessons from the book that I have been able to really put into practice and I feel better about my parenting as a result. I think I did a pretty good job in this area anyway, but now I am so conscious of stealing his joy that it is the first thought that  pops in my head (normally) when that "cut it out" instinct kicks in. Now, don't get me wrong. First of all, I have LOTS of other areas that I need to work on. Parenting is definitely a journey, not a destination. And even with this particular aspect, there are days when I lack. And on those days, I apologize. Yup! I look my big baby boy in the eyes, tell him I am sorry then ask him if I can give him a hug. And he always forgives me. How amazing is that. He ALWAYS forgives me. There is totally another lesson in that. But I digress.

We are given such an amazing gift in the children we have in our lives. Not just our own, that call us Mama and Daddy but the ones that look up to us, that watch us, that bask in the glow of our approval and attention. It it takes one word, one look for that joy to come crashing down. So much power for one person (you, me) to have.