Although we are set on a natural childbirth, we still want to safety and security of a hospital setting. I grew up in a very medical family. My mother is a registered nurse and used to work in the hospital nursery and my father is the CEO of a children's hospital. I have heard all about what can go wrong. Therefore, it is important to me to have a safety net. I came across an amazing book that I highly recommend to anyone who wants these two things: a natural birth and a hospital birth. Natural Hospital Birth: The Best Of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel offers advice on just this topic. It shows you how to write your birth plan as well as how to have your birth plan accepted by your medical birthing team by sharing it in a way that is respectful of their experience and medical expertise.
The first step to writing the birth plan is to write down your "Dream Birth". This would be the ideal birth for you and your family. I would like to share what my dream birth for Elijah would be.
Dream Birth for Elijah Latheal Parish
In my ideal birth, labor would begin around 2am on a Friday. This would allow some hours to labor at home before traffic and it would allow a full weekend of minimal work calls and responsibilities for my family. I would like to labor early at home for the first few hours. Chip and I would play music on the guitar to Elijah to comfort him through these changes that are taking places. The guitar would be placed on my belly so he could feel the familiar, soothing vibrations as we take turns playing him the songs that we have played throughout our pregnancy. We would be surrounded by Bonnie and Wrigley who also know that changes are occurring. We would relax as a family of 2 (or 4 counting our furry babies) for the very last time.
Since our hospital is somewhat far, at Reliant Stadium, and we are due during OTC, a citywide convention held at Reliant Staduim, I would like our labor to begin on Friday, April 27, 2012. This is a little over a week early. We would head to the hospital around 6am and my contractions would be a little over 5 minutes apart at this time. The would assure me that by the time we arrived at the hospital, at approximately 6am, we would be far enough along that Petocin would not even be considered by our hospital staff to move us along. We would call Janet, Heather, Dr. Smith and Stephanie (our birth photographer) when we are leaving for the hospital and ask them to meet us there. We would have prearranged caregivers for Bonnie and Wrigley and they would be called to come on over for to care for the dogs as they know change is occurring any may need some reassurance and comfort.
Our ride to the hospital is smooth and fast due to the early hour and we enjoy the darkness of the morning and conversations about all that is about to happen. We have both our camera and our video bloggie so we can record our thoughts and moments that we will one day share with our son on this, his first birthday. The morning has been an excellent distraction from early labor and as I transition into active labor (3-5cm) we arrive at the hospital.
As we get settle in our room, we hand the hospital staff the medical version of our birth plan. It is short, concise and respectful of their knowledge. They read it carefully and acknowledge their acceptance. We begin to play Elijah's mix, songs that I have been singing and playing for him on our long commute home from work every day and songs we have been playing on the guitar. It is my hopes that he hears something familiar and comforting to help him and I ease into birth. I change into the hospital gown that I purchased specifically for the birth of our son. The room is warm enough that I don't require a blanket but it is also comfortable if I choose to use one. Our birth team arrives to the hospital shortly after we do. Heather and Janet call family and friends to keep them updated on what is happening and allow them to make travel plans if they wish. Friends and Family are welcome to visit in the hospital.
As labor progresses, Chip and I use the Bradley Method to control pain. At times we get up and move around to find the most comfortable position and method for dealing with the pain. Janet and Heather act as relief for Chip so that he can rest and nap in the waiting room as needed. The hospital constantly monitors Elijah through an external Doppler however we are permitted to remove the Doppler when necessary to move around. There is a birth ball in the room and we use this to help control the pain of the contractions. Regardless of how long it takes, we get to 10 cm dilation without any medical intervention. No one at the hospital has offered drugs for pain or progression. When it is time to push, Dr. Smith, a nurse, Chip and Stephanie (our birth photogrpaher) remain in the room. My focus point is a teeny tiny Ole Miss baby cap that I have had for Elijah for two years, waiting for a little head to fill it. That hat will fit snugly on our sons head later in the day. Chip coaches me through the birth using all the practices that we have learned together and I am able to work through even the most painful contractions because I know that Elijah is working hard with me and this is also the hardest thing he has ever done. This is our first real act as a family and the three of us can do this naturally!
As the baby begins to crown, Dr. Smith lets us know and Chip and I touch our sons head for the first time together. In the last seconds, as Elijah is sliding in to Dr. Smith's hands with no forceps or vacuum needed, Chip helps her roll him up to my chest, skin to skin. I hold Elijah Parish for the first time and Chip and I touch and comfort our son together. As soon as the umbilical cord stops pulsing, and all blood has been transferred to Elijah, Chip cuts his cord and Elijah and I are two separate people for the first time. While still on my chest, Elijah is wiped down and a blanket wrapped around him as we breastfeed for the first time. He is a natural. And even if he is not, we both are patient with the process. Our family of three has some quiet moments together as the medical team gets me cleaned up. Elijah will have no bottles or pacifiers in the hospital or for the first few weeks of life.
After I am modestly covered, the family and friends in the waiting room are permitted to come and join us. When Elijah finishes his first meal, he is passed around for the family to meet. Later in the day, Chip and Janet give Elijah his first bath. Elijah does not leave the room except for the few minutes it takes the hospital to take their security photo and Chip accompanies him. All his examinations and procedures are done in my hospital room with Chip and I present. Circumcision is performed later in the day and pain relief in the form of a local anethstetic are given. Chip and I are both there to comfort Elijah at this time.
During our stay in the hospital, two of Elijah's blankets are brought home to Wrigley and Bonnie to introduce them to the smell of the baby before we come home. All visitors are welcome to come to the hospital and all visitors are welcome to come to our house once we go home. The only rule is no raised voices and only positive energy. For me, this would be the ideal birth that encompasses family, care, health and love.
Wow! I didn't expect to see my book in your post, but what a treat. I'm so excited that you took the time to really, really imagine your ideal birth and write it down. If only we could fill the world with these positive images. I'm excited to follow your story!
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