A Christmas Letter From My Son

This Christmas, my husband, Chip Parish, gave me the most beautiful gift ever received....from the heart of our son.  Chip composed to beautiful letter to me from Elijah and had an amazing plaque made with a picture of me and my four month bump.  Through my husbands words, I felt my son's love and cannot believe how blessed I am.  Through this letter I felt understood, appreciated and so loved.  And it is amazing to me that the very morning I received this letter, only hours before I had written a Christmas letter to Elijah!

 This Christmas was full of suprises and fun gifts! I was definately spoiled this year with a beautiful saphire ring, a new camera, prenatal massage gift certificate and many other presents from the love of my life.  Such a lucky girl! And next year, we will have even more blessing in our life as we help Elijah open his first post-birth Christmas presents and share some Grandma Parish's delicious holiday food with him!  It was be truly astounding to watch our little miracle celebrate Christmas.

                                                We love you Elijah Latheal Parish!

                                                             Love, Mommy and Daddy

A Christmas Letter To My Son

Dear Elijah,

It is six thirty on Christmas morning.  Your Daddy, Uncle Mark (he slept over for Christmas!)  and Wrigley and Bonnie are still asleep and I am  enjoying the quiet of the morning thinking of you.  It is amazing to me that just a year ago,  my heart felt so incomplete with longing for you.  Last Christmas was not a great one.  Uncle Bill died and we had just found out that you were not yet on the way.  It was a sad year, and sad Christmas for our family.  I look at what this year has brought and all the joy that is in our lives .  Your Daddy and I have been so blessed.  Your Grandma and Graddad Parish moved back to Houston, I found an amazing new job but the biggest blessing this year has been the expected arrival of our little baby boy.

This year, we honor you by including you in our festivities because even though you are not born, you are

already a member of this family.  There is a stocking on our fireplace for you.  You have gifts under the tree, and one is even from Santa!  You are included in our holiday conversations (and just about every other conversation that I have!).  We feel your presence already. Last year you were in my heart. This year you are in my  belly. And next year you will be in my arms. What a blessing.

Christmas has always been an extra special time in my family throughout my childhood. It was and continues to be the same with your Dad's side of the family.  We are looking forward to bringing some of our childhood traditions into your childhood as well as creating brand new ones just for you and your future siblings.  There are so many wonderful, festive things that we will get to share with you starting next year!  I can't wait to see your face when we take you to see Christmas lights, and when you get to meet Santa! Some children are a little afraid of him at first but I have a feeling you will  love  sitting in his lap!  I can't wait to see you surrounded by your loving family who all  are excited to hold you and play with you.  Elijah, you have a HUGE family who all are very eagerly anticipating your arrival. Not all of them are family by blood,  but  they are no less family. Next Christmas will be one of incredible celebration and blessings.   I look forward to sharing you with all those you who love you.  In the meantime, keep safe in my body. You are doing a great job so far! You are healthy and strong and I love you dearly. 

 Merry Christmas, Elijah.

 -Your Loving Mother

The Parish Family Christmas Card

A few weeks ago, our fabulous neighbor, Jessica Edwards, took our Christmas photos. (The same day she shot my 19 week maternity pictures). Chip and I had wanted to do a family card and we decided this was the perfect year to start. I imagine our son will get a kick of knowing our card tradition began with his conception. Since Bonnie and Wrigley are an important part of the family they, of course, were included in the photo. Our theme, as you can see, is Santa and (a pregnant) Mrs. Clause. The shot above is the one we used for the card but here are a few others just for fun......

                               Santa and the Mrs. getting a little "action" under the mistletoe.

                                        Check out the baby bump on Mrs. Clause! Good work Santa!

                                Who has a bigger bump. (Santa cheated. He put a belly pad in his!)

Wrigley is telling Santa what he wants for Christmas. My guess is....underwear and tissues (what he likes best to steal!)

                                                  Bonnie, the picture of obedience as always!

                                            Wrigley can be more of a "challenge" at times.

It was a great day and a great photo shoot! Thank you to Jessica who is so accommodating and awesome. We can't wait for next year to have another face in our picture! Merry Christmas!

The Natural Hospital Birth: My Dream Birth

At 20 weeks, I decided it is time to start getting a birth plan in place.  Chip and I have decided that we want a natural childbirth. What this means to us is no drugs and/or interference with the progression of labor.  We have decided to use the Bradley Method to control my pain and help us get through this. We begin our Bradley Method classes in January and I am really looking forward to learning the steps that will help bring Elijah into the world naturally!

Although we are set on a natural childbirth, we still want to safety and security of a hospital setting.  I grew up in a very medical family. My mother is a registered nurse and used to work in the hospital nursery and my father is the CEO of a children's hospital.  I have heard all about what can go wrong.  Therefore, it is important to me to have a safety net.  I came across an amazing book that I highly recommend to anyone who wants these two things: a natural birth and a hospital birth.  Natural Hospital Birth: The Best Of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel offers advice on just this topic.  It shows you how to write your birth plan as well as how to have your birth plan accepted by your medical birthing team by sharing it in a way that is respectful of their experience and medical expertise. 

The first step to writing the birth plan is to write down your "Dream Birth". This would be the ideal birth for you and your family.  I would like to share what my dream birth for Elijah would be.

                                          Dream Birth for Elijah Latheal Parish

In my ideal birth, labor would begin around 2am on a Friday.  This would allow some hours to labor at home before traffic and it would allow a full weekend of minimal work calls and responsibilities for my family.  I would like to labor early at home for the first few hours. Chip and I would play music on the guitar to Elijah to comfort him through these changes that are taking places.  The guitar would be placed on my belly so he could feel the familiar, soothing vibrations as we take turns playing him the songs that we have played throughout our pregnancy.  We would be surrounded by Bonnie and Wrigley who also know that changes are occurring.  We would relax as a family of 2 (or 4 counting our furry babies) for the very last time.

Since our hospital is somewhat far, at Reliant Stadium, and we are due during OTC, a citywide convention held at Reliant Staduim, I would like our labor to begin on Friday, April 27, 2012.  This is a little over a week early.  We  would head to the hospital around 6am and my contractions would be a little over 5 minutes apart at this time.  The would assure me that by the time we arrived at the hospital, at approximately 6am, we would be far enough along that Petocin would not even be considered by our hospital staff to move us along.  We would call Janet, Heather, Dr. Smith and Stephanie (our birth photographer) when we are leaving for the hospital and ask them to meet us there.  We would have prearranged caregivers for Bonnie and Wrigley and they would be called to come on over for to care for the dogs as they know change is occurring any may need some reassurance and comfort.

Our ride to the hospital is smooth and fast due to the early hour and we enjoy the darkness of the morning and conversations about all that is about to happen.  We have both our camera and our video bloggie so we can record our thoughts and moments that we will one day share with our son on this, his first birthday. The morning has been an excellent distraction from early labor and as I transition into active labor (3-5cm) we arrive at the hospital. 

As we get settle in our room, we hand the hospital staff the medical version of our birth plan.  It is short, concise and respectful of their knowledge. They read it carefully and acknowledge their acceptance.  We begin to play Elijah's mix, songs that I have been singing and playing for him on our long commute home from work every day and songs we have been playing on the guitar.  It is my hopes that he hears something familiar and comforting to help him and I ease into birth.  I change into the hospital gown that I purchased specifically for the birth of our son.  The room is warm enough that I don't require a blanket but it is also comfortable if I choose to use one. Our birth team arrives to the hospital shortly after we do.  Heather and Janet call family and friends to keep them updated on what is happening and allow them to make travel plans if they wish.  Friends and Family are welcome to visit in the hospital. 

As labor progresses, Chip and I use the Bradley Method to control pain.  At times we get up and move around to find the most comfortable position and method for dealing with the pain.  Janet and Heather act as relief for Chip so that he can rest and nap in the waiting room as needed.  The hospital constantly monitors Elijah through an external Doppler however we are permitted to remove the Doppler when necessary to move around.  There is a birth ball in the room and we use this to help control the pain of the contractions.  Regardless of how long it takes, we get to 10 cm dilation without any medical intervention.  No one at the hospital has offered drugs for pain or progression.  When it is time to push, Dr. Smith, a nurse, Chip and Stephanie (our birth photogrpaher) remain in the room.  My focus point is a teeny tiny Ole Miss baby cap that I have had for Elijah for two years, waiting for a little head to fill it.  That hat will fit snugly on our sons head later in the day. Chip coaches me through the birth using all the practices that we have learned together and I am able to work through even the most painful contractions because I know that Elijah is working hard with me and this is also the hardest thing he has ever done.  This is our first real act as a family and the three of us can do this naturally!

As the baby begins to crown, Dr. Smith lets us know and Chip and I touch our sons head for the first time together.  In the last seconds, as Elijah is sliding in to Dr. Smith's hands with no forceps or vacuum needed, Chip helps her roll him up to my chest, skin to skin.  I hold Elijah Parish for the first time and Chip and I touch and comfort our son together.  As soon as the umbilical cord stops pulsing, and all blood has been transferred to Elijah, Chip cuts his cord and Elijah and I are two separate people for the first time.  While still on my chest, Elijah is wiped down and a blanket wrapped around him as we breastfeed for the first time.  He is a natural. And even if he is not, we both are patient with the process.  Our family of three has some quiet moments together as the medical team gets me cleaned up.  Elijah will have no bottles or pacifiers in the hospital or for the first few weeks of life. 

After I am modestly covered, the family and friends in the waiting room are permitted to come and join us.  When Elijah finishes his first meal, he is passed around for the family to meet.  Later in the day, Chip and Janet give Elijah his first bath.  Elijah does not leave the room except for the few minutes it takes the hospital to take their security photo and Chip accompanies him.  All his examinations and procedures are done in my hospital room with Chip and I present.  Circumcision is performed later in the day and pain relief in the form of a local anethstetic are given.  Chip and I are both there to comfort Elijah at this time. 

During our stay in the hospital, two of Elijah's blankets are brought home to Wrigley and Bonnie to introduce them to the smell of the baby before we come home.  All visitors are welcome to come to the hospital and all visitors are welcome to come to our house once we go home.  The only rule is no raised voices and only positive energy.  For me, this would be the ideal birth that encompasses family, care, health and love. 

Happy Baby Bump Hump Day!

Thursday, December 15th, marked the halfway point of pregnancy with Elijah. Many people feel like the time just flies when they are pregnant, and maybe it will in the second half, but for me, the first half crawled by while I waited for the different miles stones that indicate our dreams had really come true and there will be a baby in May....or April.  Looking back at the first 20 weeks, I remember the morning I took the pregnancy test.  It was a week before I was suppose to.  I was at work and "just happened to have one" with me.  One week early, at three and a half weeks pregnant, I got the undeniable second blue line that I had been dreaming about for two years!  I remember the first ultrasound at five weeks and being so elated when I saw there was actually an itty bitty Sweet P in my belly. I felt that same elation at every ultrasound after. 

Yesterday, Elijah's parents got to spend the Baby Bump Hump Day together!  We began with our 20 week ultrasound.  As I watched our son touch his face, swallowing the fluid and wiggling around, I started to get a sense of the most adorable personality I have ever encountered.  When the ultrasound tech needed him to flip over, I LOVE that I know how to get him to do that and that he responds to me.  Afterwards, while back in the waiting room, he started moving and kicking more than I have ever felt before.  I had my hand on the top of my belly and I actually felt it for the first time on the outside.  I was unsure at first so I poked him a little and he poked back again. Unfortunately Chip was not near me when this happened but I know he will feel it soon! 

After our ultrasound, we went for our 20 week doctor appointment. We adore Dr. Smith and are so excited at how supportive she is about our wishes for natural delivery and she assures us the nursing staff is the same.  After looking over our ultrasound paperwork, she told us, "He could not be more perfect".  My thoughts exactly.

Second Trimester Maternity Photos - 19 Weeks

Yesterday, my fabulous and talented neighbor and friend, Jessica Edwards, took some second trimester maternity pictures of Elijah and me at a park near our house. It is so important to me to record this process of becoming Elijah's mother and I am very lucky to have friends and family that oblige this wish (and a very fabulous and tolerant husband!).  Thank you, Jessica,  for helping to record these memories.  Here are a few of my favorites!

The Quickening of Elijah

This week (week 18) I have felt my first regular fetal movements, also called "Quickening". Although I have felt small movements here or there for about a month, I was not feeling it on a regular basis and not certain that it was our son. This week, the movements, although still very light, have become more frequent and I am certain I feel the somersaults of the new life growing in my belly. I love feeling him move around and it reminds me to stop for a few moments every day and really enjoy our little Elijah. I still can't believe how lucky I am to be pregnant. I have dreamed of being a mother all my life, and desperately longed for a baby with Chip for years. We are so blessed to have this little man on his way to our lives. We have been blessed to have friends and family that have longed for this to happen for us as well. This is truly a child that will be shared. I am now looking forward to others being able to feel the little kicks, punches and wiggles working from within!