Life for my sweet babies did not begin as I had hoped, prayed and planned. Especially the first almost two weeks for my sweet little Patrick. I am slowing working on processing the birth experience and getting it down in writing but in the meantime, I want to make sure to document our brave boy’s NICU stay in order to share what he has been through and how far he has come.
Patrick’s birth was very traumatic for him. Rory was born pretty easily but Patrick (our Baby B) had trouble descending and his heart rate kept dropping. Attempts were made to pull him out via vacuum when it became clear he needed help and a cesarean seemed immanent. His heart rate had dropped several times during the 45 minute attempt to push him and finally he was taken from me via c-section with the intention of preventing further trauma or damage. Our Patrick was born without breath or heartbeat and I was not even able to see him before he was whisked away with me urging my husband, torn between me and Rory and Patrick, to stay with our sick baby. Patrick’s hear beat started pretty quickly after birth but it was not until he arrived at the NICU that he was able to breathe on his own, a blessing in and of itself. Due to the trauma of his birth and the unknown time he went without oxygen, it was decided that a semi new preventative treatment would be beneficial to Patrick. Patrick was born at 7:12pm on February 2. By 8:30 pm Patrick, still having never been held by either of his parents, was settled into the NICU wrapped in a cooling blanket that would keep his body temperature at 93 degrees for the next 72 hours.
Patrick on his cooling blanket.
Seeing and kissing my baby for the first time the morning after he was born.
I was not able to get down to the NICU until the next morning but Chip stayed with Patrick until he was settled. He was put on morphine for the duration of his treatment and given nutrition through IV fluids. He was then slowly warmed over 12 hours once his treatment was complete and only then was I able to hold my baby and feed him.
In the eight days that followed, several things happened. The first was an MRI to check for brain damage and signs of seizure. None was found, praise God, but there were some suspicious spots that were found and needed further inspection. A later CT scan showed clotting on the brain. The cause which could be anything from birth trauma, to prenatal or even could have resulted from his earlier cold treatment. The clots would need to be addressed and treated so family history was taken, a protocol was decided upon and medication levels were determined through trial and error. Patrick will be on a blood thinner called Lovenox, administered now by me twice a day via a shot for 6 to 12 weeks. He has his levels checked once a week and medication adjusted accordingly and will have a CT scan to make sure the treatment is effective.
While in the NICU, Patrick also had to learn how to eat. Because he went for four days without the opportunity nurture this instinct, I was surprised when he latched on at my first attempt to nurse him at 8 days old. However I also knew the NICU wanted to monitor his intake and that it was not practical with another baby, for me to be able to nurse him for every feed and so the bottle was introduced. Patrick struggled to eat the “minimum” for the first several days and even my attempts at nursing during those days were feeble at best. But after a lot of prayer from friends and family and determination from myself, Chip, my mom, Aunt Linda and other family members and nurses, Patrick’s eating picked up and everything came together at once on February 14….Valentine’s Day…My due date. Patrick had eaten the minimum for 24 hours, his level came back where they needed to be and it was decided that Patrick would go home that night.
I cannot put into words how sad it makes me that my baby went without affection and feeling physical contact (except some limited touches and kisses), being held for four days and after that only intermittent contact until his release. My parenting philosophy is basically to not put my babies down, to feed on demand and shower them with affection. I will forever mourn the fact that the first almost two weeks of Patrick’s life, I was not able to give him what I see as such an important and immediate primal need to be loved. I will always wonder if and how it affected him permanently and I will always be amazed how beautifully and quickly he seemed to overcome this hard beginning. Thanks to prayers, thanks to a merciful God, thanks to some amazing doctors and nurses and thanks to an inner strength that is found in my baby.
I see Patrick thriving and growing and although I believe those days of isolation affected him, he is overcoming it day by day. Through both our hard work, Patrick is now off the bottle completely as of 2/21! He is alert and quickly catching up to his twin brother in strength and already caught up in awareness. We are so grateful for the outpouring of prayers and love that we have received for both of our babies and are just so grateful to have everyone home together. Those 12 days were hard on Patrick but also on our whole family. I wonder about Patrick and Rory, who had spent 9 months together in the womb, missing one another. Chip, Elijah and I spent so much time apart instead of transitioning together as a family of five and Elijah most of all, who missed being with me, his mommy who he was used to being with 24/7. I had worked so hard at building that attachment with my first born and it was so hard to be away from him. I am just so grateful to have my family back together….healthy….happy…..and whole.
Patrick’s name tag in the NICU made by one of the nurses
Below are some sweet pictures taken by
The Tiny Footprints Project, a group of photographers that donate their time and talent to NICU families to photograph their babies.
Our sweet Patrick freshly off of the cooling blanket
Patrick had IV’s placed in a different spot every time I visited him. It made me so nervous to hold him because I was scared to hurt him. I know IV’s can hurt!
I love the sweet friend that took these and that I have these early days with my captured.
Sweet moments stolen in the NICU
Chip was the first to get to hold Patrick.
This was the first time I held my baby
Aunt Linda with the littlest Parish
My dad holding his “youngest” grandson
Looking up at his Pop
As coincidence would have it, our favorite NP used to work from my dad! She took amazing care of us before we all discovered this connection!
February 14, 2014 approximately 11:00pm…Patrick is on his way home…….
